Thursday, December 13

12 weeks

The unsolicited comments about the sex of the baby have begun...You're having a girl! I hope you have a girl! Oh, it would be nice for you to have a girl.


I don't care whether it is a boy or a girl, because I have been drowning in nausea does not mean that the baby has a lot of does not mean anything....
I don't know if I want to know the sex of the baby, I don't know if I want you to try to guess, for my 1st baby, I wanted a boy, I got a boy, and I'm successfully happy with a boy...for this baby my concern is being able to have a vaginal and successful birth, so that I may bond with my baby...

For my first birth, I was induced at 34 weeks and 4 days for low amniotic fluid....They used cervidil at first, and I had a friendly nurse...I was being monitored for both contractions and the baby's heart rate, and they placed the hep lock in....If I had the urge to go to the bathroom, I would get up and the time she left, I had dilated up to 5 cm, Than the nurse that I had switched shifts, and I got the nurse from HELL, she didn't let me get up the bed, the contractions were consistent still but not painful, however, I felt like a log that couldn't move, she had me pee in a bedpan, she told me to stay still, she scared me to death.... I was glad because they moved me from that area to another laboring area, and they switched the nurse....however, the problem now became that they put in the pitocin, what was that for, the back pain began, the intense contractions began to kill me, at the time, the doctor came in and he ruptured the membranes....I couldn't stand it at all, I was offered the epidural for the 3rd time, and at that time, I agreed, my baby's heart rate began to drop, and the doctor started saying that the baby could have the cord wrapped around his neck, and that I needed a cesearan....about 20 minutes later, I was rolled into the OR, and the surgery began, they pulled the baby out of me, and showed him to me for what felt to me was one second, they gave it to the father, and he showed him to me again, but again it wasn't that long. I was place in a recovery room, and my baby was sent to the NICU, the next day I didn't get to see my baby until about 16 hours later, I was dissapointed and upset at my birthing experience, he spent 7 days in the NICU, and I had a baby shower that I couldn't enjoy because I had been recently released from the hospital.

I need to put this experience behind me....I need to have my VBAC, and I need to have it for this, as I don't know if I will ever get pregnant again...I'm going to treat this as if it will be my last, and I expect to enjoy it to the fullest....Thank you!

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